While the metro sleeps

This meant nothing. I do not live in the past. I don't use other people just to gratify myself for the meantime while I wait for something to happen. That is not me. I am an honest person, trying to live life everyday -- striving to be better. Choosing carefully who I let into my life and certain of my convictions when I let go. My past meant something to me. But that's all it's ever gonna be exactly. In the past. Everything I do, I do with heart, most importantly, in the now. I have passion in everything I do. And passionate of the person I'm with now. This is my absolute truth.

What does your birthday mean?

YOUR BIRTHDATE: MARCH 21

BEING BORN ON THE 21ST DAY OF THE MONTH (3 ENERGY) IS LIKELY TO ADD A GOOD BIT OF VITALITY TO YOUR LIFE.THE ENERGY OF 3 ALLOWS YOU BOUNCE BACK RAPIDLY FROM SETBACKS, PHYSICAL OR MENTAL.THERE IS A RESTLESSNESS IN YOUR NATURE, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE ABLE TO PORTRAY AN EASYGOING, "COULDN'T CARE LESS" ATTITUDE.YOU HAVE A NATURAL ABILITY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF IN PUBLIC, AND YOU ALWAYS MAKE A VERY GOOD IMPRESSION.GOOD WITH WORDS, YOU EXCEL IN WRITING, SPEAKING, AND POSSIBLY SINGING.YOU ARE ENERGETIC AND ALWAYS A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST.YOU HAVE A KEEN IMAGINATION, BUT YOU TEND TO SCATTER YOUR ENERGIES AND BECOME INVOLVED WITH TOO MAY SUPERFICIAL MATTERS.YOUR MIND IS PRACTICAL AND RATIONAL DESPITE THIS TENDENCY TO JUMP ABOUT.YOU ARE AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING, BUT VERY SENSITIVE.YOU ARE SUBJECT TO RAPID UPS AND DOWNS.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Sad story

I heard a sad story yesterday. I felt so bothered by it that I found it hard to sleep. It's always hard to sleep with a heavy heart.

Bad choices. Keeping secrets. In a blink everything changed. Drastic consequences. Picking up the pieces. Surviving the hurt and humiliation.

Why does this bother me?

Stories of infidelity, deception, secrets. It might be because of a past that I cannot escape. A chicker dad. Broken family. Separate Lives. The Trauma. The Hang-ups.

Sigh... Depressing... This is all deep-seated shit we're talking about here.

Your life now is the fusion of everything good and bad you have surivived. But then, life goes on. Gotta tell the heart to be ready for more.

Rain on me

Driving along the metro, snaking my way towards the makati office. Smoothing out my hair in-between stoplights. Trying but unsuccessful to find a good tune on the radio. With the usual busy streets and freaking badass drivers worthy to have 'Only in the Philippines' stamped on their foreheads. Thoughtfully listing my to-do list for tonight's work shift. Reminiscing the past -- the good, the bad, the ugly. My mind going a gazillion miles a minute. Feeling frantic and getting stressed.

Then in the middle of it all, it started to drizzle. Rain.

I felt a steady calm all over. My racing mind, tuned everything out. The air felt a bit cooler. The radio started crooning an easy rhythm. Time stood still. For a while there, everything was perfect. I had to wrestle with myself to stop me from going outside and dance, in the rain.

Three songs later, another gutless driver blocked his car on the parking entrance. Perfection over. Honk-honk. Get outta my way.

I don't know how it happened but the rain did it to me. Remembering those few minutes of peace will help me get through today. I loved it.

Office Owl

Hoot. 

Ramblings

"To be in doubt is not comfortable, as anyone can attest who has ever awaited lab results, fretted over a test score or stood vigil over a silent telephone, awaiting a call. It's a psychological itch, and you want to scratch your way to certainty. But it is often the first step on a path to greater spiritual or moral wisdom, a deeper compassion, a breaking free from constricting dogma."
--Charles Isherwood

I hate being in doubt. Hate. I have a poster in my room, of four aliens bearing the peace sign, with the caption: There will be an answer. I love that. And I believe that. Just thinking that someday, somehow, all questions will be answered. To me, that thought is pure bliss.

Blogs

Blogs have been around for awhile now. It is yet another product of the changing times, trends, and what-have-yous. The Doogie Howser entries of yesterday. The young techie' s journal of today.

I have always found my friends' blogs to be amusing, accessible (for being instantly updated with their lives) and personal. Very personal. Oh and did I mention personal? I mean it's like reading someone's diary; one's thoughts, opinions, rants, raves, even mischievous undoings; a person's life, literally, unraveling in front of my eyes. Sometimes it even feels invasive. But it was their choice of wanting to have it online for the internet-literal-world to see. I often wonder why they do it, why for the love of ---, why? Why expose your life, your thoughts to the public? Why have it out there for others (friends and even strangers) to witness, criticize, ridicule? Disillusion. Insanity.

On the other hand, I imagine feeling the freedom of putting words 'out there'. Like writing a novel.

Somehow setting the soul free.

So, to my soul, here's one for you. Kudos! Let the blogging begin...