On a Thursday afternoon

Below is an email reply to a good friend who shared to me her thoughts on love and marriage, having attended four weddings over the past month. The last one so solemn and meaningful that surged feelings in her that she had to write down and share to few close friends like moi.

Hi Friend,

First off, you write beautifully, sincerely and graphically. Blog na to!

Second, for the subject at hand, what you said makes alotta sense and I'm glad that I got to share what you had in mind. I agree that most people marry for the wrong reasons. Obvious sa iba. Personally, as a single woman, I too, hope to marry for LOVE. True love. But sometimes, (most of the time) looking at the world that has for most of the population become superficial, the journey to love seems exhaustible, futile, might I say even impossible? Cynical it may seem, but my own eyes have also seen its share of crash and burn stories. One cannot stay blind from all the heartbreaks that happen so often and so common as sunsets. Sigh... The tragedy that is love.

The 3 things that your mother mentioned, let me reiterate:

1) That he’ll be God-fearing so that he will always respect you, 2) That he loves you deeply and he’ll take care of you, and 3) That he’ll always go out of his way to please you, now and especially in your olden days.

I distinctly remember that you told that to me as well, in an elevator ride somewhere. I remember your words clearly, because I knew that you were saying something really important. I vowed then to somehow incorporate them with my own personal standards.

There is a lot to be said about love and relationships and break-ups and marriage and romance and passion. A lot of opinions, a lot of point-of-views. But to everyone, I am sure, that it is personal. Everyone has had their own brush with this mystery that mankind has forever been attempting to conquer. Including you and me. This is definitely one part of our life that we have no real control over. No plans. No preparations. Nothing tangible.

For my part, this is what I wanna share... This I got from my Tito Efren: There are only two things in life that are uncertain -- 1) Death, when, where, how and 2) Marriage, how it will turn out, if it will last, or even if you will marry. This one I got from Winnie, a former-boss-turned-good-good-friend: You were put on this earth having no choice about who your parents, siblings or relatives are gonna be. The only thing that is entirely up to you is deciding on who you will marry. Your future life depends on this. So, choose well.

After all that's said and done, after all the high's and low's of it, marriage to me is something sacred and honorable. I will not be pressured into marrying just for the sake of. I want to get married because I truly have found someone that I'm so madly and passionately in love with and that losing him is not an option. I want him to feel as passionate about me and that together we have the capability to build a comfortable(not extravagant but comfortable) life and raise kids with good strong morals and will become good citizens of the world. This is perfection. This is my ideal.

It will take a lot of guts and heart (add a dash of intelligence to that) to get there. I myself am so afraid of this, love and marriage(!) but I'll save those thoughts for another day. For now, I'll let these thoughts sink in and dream of my utopia. Just for awhile.

Love,
Tin